Ignatius J. Reilly
The story's protagonist, he is a labyrinth of issues and flatulence. A medieval man at heart, Ignatius loathes everything modern or commercial. He is a constant observer, recording his own peculiar version of history on Big Chief tablets. Ignatius is also quite lazy, and he would prefer to spend most of his time at home in bed or in front of the television. Yet, when his mother crashes her Plymouth into a building, Ignatius is forced to enter the working world in order to help pay off the debt. He also has a special “valve” that is always acting up, preventing him from doing any work.
This is a excerpt from Ignatius' journal, keep in mind that this is the FIRST time he's written in the journal (87).
"I find, dear reader, I have grown accustomed to the hectic pace of office life, an adjustment I doubted I could make... I brought to his attention the sign (Yes, reader, it has finally been painted and posted...) As I have told you in earlier installments... I cannot abide those who would act cowardly in the face of social injustice. I believe in bold and shattering commitment to the problems of our times..."
Mrs. Reilly
Ignatius's mother. She loves her son but frequently complains that after all the money she spent on his education, he has not made anything of himself. She’s an alcoholic.
This passage is on 149 where Mrs. Reilly is telling Santa that Ignatius is going to be a hotdog vendor.
"So he says, very insolent, 'Guess again. You ain't even close.' I keep guessing for about 5 minutes until I can't think of no more jobs where you'd be wearing one of those white uniforms. Then he finally says, 'Wrong every time. I got me a job selling weenies.' I almost passed out, Santa, right on the kitchen floor. Wouldn't thata been fine, me with my head broke open on the linoleum?"
Patrolman Mancuso
An inept, yet hardworking, police officer who suspects Ignatius of being a pervert and who attempts to arrest him. His sergeant, frustrated with his incompetence, punishes him by forcing him to wear a new costume each day. If he does not apprehend a suspicious character soon, he will be thrown off the force.
Santa Battaglia
Patrolman Mancuso's aunt, she becomes Mrs. Reilly's friend and bowling partner. She decides to play matchmaker in setting up Mrs. Reilly with a man whose name is still unknown.
Honestly, the best quote to help interpret the character of Santa is found on page 89 where she is dancing in the kitchen and says very candidly to Mrs. Reilly "F*** Ignatius!"
Lana Lee
The owner of the Night of Joy, she rules the club with an iron fist. Ignatius refers to her as the "Nazi Proprietress." She is also the mastermind behind the largest high school pornography ring in the city.
Mr. Jones
An African American porter at the Night of Joy, his face is constantly hidden behind sunglasses and a cloud of smoke. Working for well below the minimum wage, he remains at the Night of Joy only because he fears he will be arrested for vagrancy if he is unemployed.
Darlene
B-Girl (someone who basically prostitutes the bar’s awful drinks) at the Night of Joy, she dreams of becoming an exotic dancer. She has a pet cockatoo that plays a prominent role in her stripper routine, since it has been trained to rip her clothes off of her.
Claude Robichaux
A grandfather of six, he is convinced that communists are taking over the country. He is the man in the very beginning of the novel that stands up for Ignatius when Patrolman Mancuso attempts to arrest him, thus getting himself arrested.
Dorian Greene
An elegant homosexual who runs a vintage clothes shop in the French Quarter. He buys Mrs. Reilly's hat early in the first chapter. Later, we learn that he throws extravagant parties.
George
A young teen with oiled hair and flamenco boots, he serves as a delivery boy for Lana Lee's “orphanage charity”.
Gus Levy
Owner of Levy Pants. He tries to dissociate himself from the business as much as possible, spending most of his time at race tracks, sporting events, and spring training camps. He and his wife have a terrible relationship, but they serve as humor.
"Last time Sandra was home, she opened her purse to get cigarettes and a pack of rubbers falls on the floor right at my feet." (pg 84)
Miss Annie
The nosy neighbor of the Reillys, she constantly complains about the noise coming from the Reilly residence.
Miss Trixie
The old, senile assistant accountant at Levy Pants, she has only two desires in life: an Easter ham (since she was never given the Thanksgiving turkey her employer promised her) and retirement. Mrs. Levy will not let her retire, however, believing that Miss Trixie needs to feel that she is wanted.
Mr. Gonzalez
The loyal and hardworking office manager at Levy Pants. Despite the fact that he is quite impressed with Ignatius as an employee, Ignatius decides to lead the factory workers in a revolt against him.
Mrs. Levy
Gus Levy's wife. She took (but failed) a correspondence course on psychology. She insists that Miss Trixie be kept employed (despite Miss Trixie's repeated requests for retirement), believing that Miss Trixie needs to feel wanted. Her favorite activities are making her husband miserable and writing to her two daughters, Susan and Sandra, to tell them of all the terrible things their father has done.
Myrna Minkoff
Ignatius refers to her as the "minx." She is a Jewish from New York, whom Ignatius met in college. She believes that sex is the answer to many of life's problems, and she often accuses Ignatius of having homosexual tendencies.
Sergeant
Patrolman Mancuso's boss who, out of frustration with Mancuso's ineptitude, forces him to wear ridiculous costumes and to spend long days sitting in the bus station bathroom. He threatens to kick Mancuso off the force if he does not shape up.
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